not scared anymore.
free trip to SF, internet finds of the week, big life updates
tldr: i talk about prestige chasing and some life decisions i took
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grade 12 in high school, like many of us, i was mega-confused about what major to choose and what unis to apply to.
i had always liked video editing, graphic design, hosting events, writing, leading and managing fun projects. i was always “internet-smart” equivalent to “street-smart” where i knew all the ways to download pirated games, i knew how to hack different software, and port Windows games to Mac.
but i never understood what major would align with these interests and skills (barely). art? because of my videography interests? business? because of my knack for project management? computer science? because i was internet smart?
finally, i decided film production was the closest to the major that used my talents. “maybe i could be a director” i thought, because some career tests said so, even though i had never made a short film before the film i made for my supplementary application for those college programs.
i applied to all film programs. accepted to most, rejected from some. and at the end of Grade 12, when i had some cool acceptances, i was like “nah”, this doesn’t feel right.
in grade 12, i had found out that when i tried hard enough, i was good at everything. even math (which i had hated all my life). and i liked trying hard.
this made the confusion only worse. i was interested in a few things, i enjoyed working hard a ton, but i also wanted to go somewhere top-tier.
i rabbit holed into the long threads of reddit of r/OntarioUniversities and decided following prestige sounds like the best option for now, because i needed to make a decision.
i took a gap year after grade 12 to explore interests and prepare to apply again for universities where this time, i calculated things would work out because you know, reddit said so.
in this gap year, i got to work: from sept 2021 to april 2021, i was locked in my room. i’d work on my laptop from 9 am to 12:30 am every day without a single day off. at 4pm, i’d go for walks with no music and that was my only exercise.
i led a non-profit, i speedran 3 years worth of high school and AP math in 8 months, i read lots of books during this time.
no social media, barely any music. it was the most intense dopamine detox i have ever done.
it got me into my program of 1st choice: studying CS and Business at Western University and Ivey Business School.
it was one of the hardest (if not the hardest) business program to get into Canada, also the most expensive. they said it had a 4% acceptance rate, and i was on cloud 9 thinking that’s the same as Harvard and other unis. it was also the only program that let me do a decent dual degree combination with CS and Business with a Psych Major.
and with a cherry on top, i got a full-ride scholarship. i was on god the happiest mf on earth the summer after i had heard back. i had worked my ass off the year before and it paid off all in one shot.
my family didn’t have the means to fund my education so if it wasn’t for the scholarship, i wouldn’t have been able to accept coming to Western. it was truly a big deal.
now, fast forward speed: i disliked my first year of university. and then i took a solo-trip to sf. and then built the residency with an amazing team and i found “my people” in life. and then, i came back to this university i disliked after the best year of my life where i was working on things i loved.
one of the reasons i came back to school, which i didn’t mention in my last blog, was the thought that i should probably get atleast one prestigious place on my resume before i go all in in this unconventional path of startups with high-risks. or transfer to a prestigious US school to mitigate the risk. i’d always second-guess my choices when i saw a friend getting a McKinsey, BCG, Jane Street, big-tech internship or so — which I knew I could fully get if I tried hard enough.
this might seem surprising to some ppl because i always preach this unconventional path. but i’ll admit it, i was fucking scared. i thought again, like the grade 12 me, that when i’m not sure, chasing prestige is probably the right decision.
i thought if i fucked up in this unconventional path, i was doomed. maybe having some backup would be good, some credentials.
now in February, i have finally realized my sheer resentment for this game of badge-chasing. i don’t think working at McKinsey, BCG, Google or anywhere prestigious is morally bad if one likes the work and wants to explore it, but i do think it isn’t aiming for excellence when the sole reason for it is getting a badge — which is what i had in my head.
and after a long time, i am putting my foot done. i came to this realization when i had interviewed scheduled for these dream companies, working on shit i couldn’t care less about.
during the last year of building the residency and having mentors with wildly successful careers, the one thing i have learned about these people is this: none of them have ever optimized for prestige. if they got prestige, they got it as a byproduct of chasing their authenticity and obsession. they always aim for learning the most, and learning under the best people and teams. they have often worked summers or a year under someone talented for free to learn. (grants are readily available if you want to do this).
i have observed when one chases their authenticity and obsessions extremes with no backup plans, they put themselves in a position where they are forced to succeed.
and once, we are some of the best ppl at your craft, we don’t need to ride someone else’s credential. our work speaks for us.
there’s a second-degree connection i know who gets paid $40,000 to speak for 2 hours on this niche topic of accounting software at big companies. the 6 twenty-somethings working at DOGE were obsessed with their nerdy craft before they got picked up. Aidan Gomez at 19 years old, co-authored the revolutionary “Attention is all you need” paper amongst the greats at Google Brain and then went on to build Cohere. the 22-year-old who built a ~$400,000 MRR media business through his short interviews with entrepreneurs on Instagram.
and there’s so many examples like this.
the more i have thought about this, i have come to learn that if one wants to win big, the world runs in exponential functions. you get nothing in the starting compared to a linear safe path where like university, the rewards come linearly as you put in effort.
i recently came to terms with myself that i can’t compromise on this. i can’t compromise on not having my effort and skill compound in this time of my life. these are the most precious years arguably of one’s life. neuroplasticity starts to plateau at 25. if i’m working towards badges i don’t care about, it’s an expensive bet on my most important years.
the likelihood of success heavily depends also on the ppl we are surrounded by. one is way more likely to quit their unconventional endeavour if all their friends seem to be enjoying the 9-5 life with high salaries and they are living off of grant money.
and sure, luck always plays a role. but i’m a believer once you take enough shots, you will get somewhere.
so, i’m going all in. the next months are going to be navigating different skills in life i want to compound, which ppl i want to surround myself with September onwards and how to make all my finances work around this.
i’m going to be making some big decisions in the next months, which are going to make ppl around me worried about me, but for some reason, this time, i don’t feel scared at all.
no one i know who is the best at their craft became the best by listening to the worries and criticism of people who also don’t understand their goals. and for me, being the best at my craft is my goal. i still need to fully define this craft but i got this.
if you are doubting yourself, about creating something, here are two videos i always have on my desktop i watch in local minima times: anyone can cook, ambition ceilings (a good analogy of how many of us have perceived limitations by the world).
we are so back.
big life updates:
i’ll be working with localhost for a month and spearheading granting $1k to $5k USD grants to ~40 builders, researchers and creatives out there. will do an official announcement for this soon. if you have someone in your network interested, tell them to follow me on Twitter to stay updated!
i’ll be working my best to not return to Western for September onwards. let’s see how things go.
i stayed over at a friend’s place for two days and she had this cute dawg and holy fuck i want a dawg now bro. here’s a picture of her:
she fixed me
asks:
thinking of applying to roles at sequence.film and anthropic. lmk if someone has a connect!
looking to hire someone as a community architect of the residency bangalore june 2025 onwards. more info here.
looking for a video editor to work w/ me to make buildspace style reels like this with me.
internet finds of the week:
ycombinator summer grants: get money to work on your startup over the summer.
free ticket to this new socratica mansion + potentially a dev job.
my friend is giving out two tickets to SF to anyone who is young and is down to go on a solo trip and get exposure to the ecosystem. here. message me for a referral!
if you go to western university and if you are unsure about your future path, read Simu Liu’s biography starting from Chapter 13 from where he talks about his experience here going from studying accounting (that he hated) to discovering acting. screenshot of first chapter page here.
based,
hardeep
Loved this!
too good loved reading this