Power of Simplicity (8 min read time)
be honest and reinvent yourself - includes TLDR
tldr; life is simple, why haven’t I be doing things I like, why do I listen to opinions that are not backed strongly and what learning I really got from this idea. deadass just be honest to yourself, care about people less (i write how) and live a happy life!
Life is simple:
I have talked a lot about self-control on this blog, and now I am going to challenge myself a bit. If I am using self-control to do activities and experiences I do not find value in, my self-control will lapse, again and again.
I have started to realize the simplicity of chasing our desires and experiences that pull us toward them. It’s so simple, like freaking do things you like, so what’s hard about it? The main culprit is External Influence.
External Influences
Questioning external influences from all sources is core. Whether it’s from myself, friends, family, culture or the internet - it is crucial not to take opinions at face value and the connotations some people have to their opinions. This is especially important when it comes from adults who we go to for advice in our early youth years, it is important to not spend our lives living someone else’s.
For example: two years ago Crypto and NFTs were a big space. On Twitter, the people I knew through connections invested in the crypto market and blockchain. On the other hand, there was a highly skeptical side of people who attached a negative connotation to cryptocurrencies due to their volatility and the meme culture with DogeCoin. This created two polarized sides. I remember almost being roped into both sides at points in time.
I realized I ended up being neutral because I never got good arguments and reasons for people’s extreme favorability towards one side. I’d ask them a bunch of “why’s” and after a series of them, often they’d keep saying their argument in a loop - which is a bad argument. I have even had people who’d use their social credentials to argue “I have been in the industry for 20 years and I know this is not going to be leverage.” This isn’t a good argument. *Paul Graham best puts it: “Education is no substitute for thought.”
In my first year of uni, these connotations, biases and pre-claimed images of people have affected me, more than I realized. Because a certain person with a social credential would give an opinion and I’d put more value to it. I have stopped doing that unless they can reason effectively and simply, I have stopped valuing them too much. Hence, starting my podcast - asking and seeing if people with great accomplishments can reason their actions in the past effectively.
This external influence can sometimes affect our internal influence.
For example: when I was small, I’d attach the connotation like most “I am not good with Math” by looking at my elder brother and using a few tests in Grade 2 to support my hypothesis. This would begin a reinforcing spiral of statements and I would make myself bad at Math because I’d practice less. I’d say I still am not its most huge fan but I certainly can do it if I put myself to it. It is important to question our underlying beliefs about ourselves and if we can reason them validly.
Mitigation:
Interoggate myself with “why’s” consistently.
If I don’t have a satisfactory base reasoning, I need to call bullshit on it, instinctively. Because if I don’t, if I am not doing something out of fear I cannot put it into words, I am genuinely limiting my potential and there is nothing more wrong.
For example, I was sitting in the subway once and I realized very randomly the thought of going up to random people and asking them questions seemed and felt scary. I kept asking myself why it felt this way. I was surprised that I was truing to come up with any excuse to avoid the situation. Like “oh that dude is too old - prolly won’t be interested”, “Indian uncles tend to always say ‘no’ to surveys, why would they say yes to me.” Having a friend with you changes the game, they don’t have to do it with me, just stand beside me and I’d get the confidence. But I wanted to work on developing my courage alone so I came up with an idea that when I’m on the subway, I’d pick a person that looks friendly and ask them questions on some psychology topics: the spotlight effect, normative and informational social influence. Why? Because I couldn’t find myself a solid ‘why’ to my question of why I couldn’t do it - that’s why.
My entry sentence with a nice smile would be: “Hi! I am a Psychology student and I am doing a questionnaire for my class, would you be open to answering three questions for me?” I didn’t care about the information I was acquiring - the point of this was desensitizing my fear of asking random people questions and getting rejected so that I couldn’t reason why it existed. I have done this twice and surprisingly, both times it has worked. And my goal is to get to 50 people by the end of June.
Similarly, I am trying to challenge my preconceived notions about everything. And geez, since I have been feeling so alive when I know I am questioning the status quo consistently. I am not following things because I was told to. It’s strangely comforting and gives me a sense of fearlessness that bleeds into my other passions like pitching ideas to VCs for the startup I am working for.
I also believe this ideology has gotten my self-esteem to its best. The reason is, I felt sometimes, compliments would inflate my confidence. This ideology of questioning eliminates that. Whenever I get a compliment, I ask very specifically what they mean. For example, one of the recent compliments I got was that I write well. I asked what they mean by that and then they went into the specifics, “You add authenticity that is linear in your writing and seems like you rigorously edit your content to make it flow throughout your writing.” That showed me they weren’t just saying it to please me; they meant what they said, and that’s why they said it - only then do I accept the compliment internally.
Additionally, I have also stopped giving compliments I don’t mean and am consistently trying to eliminate phrases I don’t mean at times like “that’s so cool” - I feel like sometimes I overuse it with people I just newly met and it honestly just adds a layer of formality and superficiality that prevents connection.
Learning:
Consistently questions others and myself. Be honest to others and myself. If I am not honest with myself, I will very easily end up living someone else’s life. Just “No Bullshit” life really.
I went to a Hacker House in San Francisco this summer and one of the guys I met there told me the best part about the place was everyone would be always down to have a conversation on the most controversial topics and hear your side. One day, my friend walked into the main co-working space and said “I think during the time when it happened, slavery was ‘right’” and no one swore or cussed the guy out. They listened to his thoughts that what is “right” is defined by the majority in society. Debatable topic - message me if you’d like to more about this.
What I am getting to is, to truly grow our intellect, it is important to surround ourselves with people who don’t mind the repetitive “why” questions, don’t laugh at your argument but inquire, are able to argue from the ground up without using their opinion and don’t argue with their social status but their experiences and thought. People who can dumbify things to the base level, with patience. That’s where our intellect grows. That’s why absolutely loved that Hacker House and am hoping to eventually live and/or start one soon!
I call this concept of constantly asking the ‘why’s’ - “The Y-Integrity” and its core principle - being honest to ourselves and others. When you spot a loophole, seek knowledge, thought or action. Don’t nod away.
Inspirations of thoughts:
ofcourse the homie Naval Ravikant
Thanks for reading! Keep being authentic and the next article should be sooner. 💯
Rizzfully,
Hardeep
Life Updates:
I have a bit too much to write after I have been on a pause on writing for a while. The perfectionist in me was kicking it and I finally kicked him out of the window today. Hoping to write more, build some things in this summer, and meet cooler and cooler people!
Have started following this principle of “random acts of kindness” where I try to give five compliments to strangers. It genuinely I feel like makes my day more than the person I give it to! Why not just spread the kindness in the world?
I have been consistently desensitizing myself from rejection and I feel great! Here’s a Twitter thread on my best accomplishments at my SF trip this summer here.
Debating if I should keep my CS and Business part of the degree or choose Psychology and Business recently. The main reason is I do not get the time to work on personal projects that I know would make me really happy with CS and Math heavy courses. Don’t know if I am thinking short-term though or if I just should follow my instinct.
Podcast releasing on June 24th. I am hyped!
Saw Simu Liu’s Biography at the SF airport, started reading it and I really like it!
Made a Hinge profile LOL.
Dopamine fasting again - found myself overstimulated recently.
I have been caffeine free officially for 30 days today, have gotten 8 hours of sleep nearly every day for a month and it’s been great! Starting rock climbing soon after catching up on my summer course!
I love this so much. Also, I found something similar with not having enough time to work on personal projects & I played around with Tinder / Bumble last year too! I hope you have a great summer :)